Supporting black women doesn’t stop at tweeting that dark skinned women can be cute too. There’s much more too it and a lot of the things can be fixed for free. Stop letting our little girls be told that they’re not as pretty as someone else because of their hair texture, skin or anything else that comes with being a young black girl. Stop sexualizing them at young ages because they tend to develop faster than other races. Never let them forget that they are beautiful too. Self love is one of the most important traits you can have as a human being and through the young impressionable ages they shouldn’t feel anything less. They are the next generation of mothers for our people, we have to protect them. If you have one in your life, please do everything you can to make sure she realizes her full potential and worth.
In response to your last post. How do you bring that up in conversation? Like if they believe in God, spend time with him often etc?
it can feel weird because it’s not something that we talk about. when people talk about the person they love, it’s always the mushy stuff. but for me, some of the things i’m most proud of with my guy is how much we pray together. i know i could brag about how he holds me and how he says i’m pretty and how he’s there for me. but the thing i’m most proud of his his willingness to talk with me about God and do bible study and pray with me. i’ll say “hey can we pray before we talk tonight?” and he’ll say “absolutely hun”. or he’ll say “school is starting up. i think we should fast in preparation” for us, religion was at the center of our relationship. before we started dating we made that clear that we both were interested in being spiritually grounded and being with someone to grow with.
but it wasn’t always like that. you never know what a person means when they say “I’m a Christian” until you’ve dated for a while. I would first say, before you ask about praying, take some time and think to yourself:
what do you need in your relationship? do you need spiritual foundation? what matters to you? why do you want to pray with this person?
i think it’s important that you don’t try to change someone into being religious. you should just seek people who you would feel comfortable growing with, spiritually.
so that’s the second thing. make sure you’re dating someone who can be not just your partner, but your spiritual partner.
once that foundation is there, third i’d start with a general question about religion. i’d ask them their thoughts on religion and relationships and marriage. see, i wouldn’t just want to pray with them because that’s what i want to do. i’d want to know that they would be interested in making that a part of the relationship. where it’s not just going through the motions.
last, i’d just say “i’ve been thinking about this for a while. i’m so happy that you and i are able to talk about thing like religion and spirituality. it means so much to me to have someone like you to grow with. i was just wondering, what do you think about us praying together? just every so often. when things are going really well or really bad. or you just feel like praying. we’re already comfortable growing in this relationship, and i’d like to grow spiritually with you as well”
do not be the person that spends time praying to have someone and then once you have…
I mean he says he has a “special relationship with God” that doesn’t involve other people. He claims Christianity like me tho. when I do ask him to pray for me he’ll say ok but will do it on his own not with me. Not even over the phone. It bothers me but I try and get over it u can’t force someone to pray. Just ugh
i know you didn’t ask for my advice. i just find it interesting. that your spirit could be pulled to want to pray with someone you love. and their spirit doesn’t want that. i cannot see a man who calls himself Christian who would not want to pray with you. it may not be the first thing on his mind, but if you ask a man to pray with you, a Christ focused man would say yes. despite what he says, the God says in the bible “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them”. yes, personal prayer time is important, but if you are two Christians, dating and wanting to be a Christian couple, I don’t know why someone wouldn’t want to share that aspect of spirituality with you.
but people are at different places. i only say something because you say that you “wish” you could pray together. but if it’s important to you, you should make it plain. and if he’s not on the same page, maybe that’s something you need to think about
do not be the person that spends time praying to have someone and then once you have them
you forget about God
let your relationship be a reflection of God
involve Him and He will bless it
I swear I wish we could pray together. It’d put me at so much ease. I have a lot of problems going on and having a prayer buddy would be amazing , cause sometimes just talking doesn’t do anything. But it’s …………. Fine.
So as a half black male I would like to ask you how do you deal with racist/ignorant comments. I am at my wits end with the calm explanation approach
it depends on the setting. but generally i don’t engage in “explaining” myself. to anyone. i don’t have to explain why it’s offensive. if you say something offensive, I will say “what you said made me really uncomfortable” or “that’s really inappropriate”. i don’t follow up with a dissertation on why what they said is messed up.